First, I'd like to say I'm impressed that you pulled this off without hurting yourself. I seriously doubt that I could have anyone slide anything into my ass without a whole lot of lube, time and patience. And I'm very glad the experience worked out for you positively.

However, I don't know that I would recommend anyone do this for a couple of reasons. I hesitate to sneak any sexual activity as loaded with baggage as anal sex onto someone without their express permission. I mean, even for the person doing the penetrating, what if the idea really does just gross them out. (Believe it or not, there are men who are icked out by the thought of anal sex.) I suppose you could just explain it away with, "Well, we just slipped," but I hesitate to advocate dishonesty in a sexual relationship.

The other reason I don't advocate this is that the tissues of the anus and rectum really are relatively fragile and tear easily. This can be painful. It can also result in things like hemorrhoids and other painful medical problems. There is a reason that nearly every instruction manual on anal sex will tell you that there is no such thing as too much lube. And while I'm pretty good in the natural lubrication department, I just don't think that would be enough for comfortable anal sex for me.

So, while I'm impressed that you managed to pull this off without hurting yourself or bothering your partner. I do have to say that I do not advise doing something like this for anyone.


I'm very sorry it's been so long between columns. I'd like to apologize for my absence. I came down with what is known around my house as the Houseguest about two weeks ago, and spent a week and a half on heavy narcotics to stifle my coughing, so I wasn't exactly up to coherent writing. That, coupled with the answer I tried to write to this while I was sick getting eaten by the mysterious Internets Monsters, which made me burst into tears, it seemed best to wait until I was a little better before attempting this.

-Valerie